Getting on the same page as your romantic partner is always important, especially when it comes to matters of the bedroom. However, according to a study recently published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, not all established couples have each other figured out sexually.
For this study, researchers lined up 229 long-term, primarily heterosexual couples that had been together an average of six years. Everyone involved ranged in age from 18-68 and admitted to being sexually active once or twice a week.
In the first trial, 84 couples participated in a Q&A with researchers and were asked to discuss their sexual desire, relationship happiness, as well as how they perceive their partner’s interest in sex. Meanwhile, another 101 couples were tasked with keeping a diary for three weeks – these folks had to report on sexual interest, relationship happiness and offer insight about their fear of sexual rejection.
Lastly, 44 couples were simply asked to detail how interested they were in sex, each day, as well as how they perceived their partner’s sexual appetite and relationship satisfaction.
Once the results were gathered, researchers discovered that women had the uncanny ability to properly assess their fella’s interest in sex. Men, on the other hand, consistently missed the mark and underestimated their lady’s sexual interest.
Why did this happen?
Researchers suggested that men are so afraid of rejection that they stop trying to initiate sex with their partner. What’s more, the study theorized that some men purposefully underestimate how much their Mrs. enjoy sex, just to avoid the possibility of feeling rejected.
Interestingly, it was discovered that on the days when men most miscalculated their partner’s desire, women actually felt more happy and secure in their relationships. This could be because men, reportedly, try extra hard to augment a woman’s sexual interest if he feels that it is lacking.
From the sounds of it, people would really benefit from putting this old adage to use: ‘you never know unless you ask.’